Problem Solving

My husband and I are taking the Church's Self Reliance course on Personal Finances.  I pushed for us to take the class now because I needed something to focus on after we lost Hannah.

We're up to the week of the class where we're supposed to stick to our budget.  So, of course, the dishwasher broke.  Because that's how life is and because the Lord wanted to ease me into having to deal with a crisis by giving me a really mini one.

Adam noticed the dishwasher leaking.  I grabbed towels, cleaned up the puddle, called the service people, arranged for someone to look at it the next day, hung up the phone and started crying.  Handling my mini-crisis took all of my resources.

It took hours for me to realize that even though it did take all of my resources, I did handle it.  I didn't handle it super well, but I handled it.

Tonight, we were reading in Alma for family scripture study.

Alma 29: 9

I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.

I've been learning in Self Reliance group that I am capable of solving problems. I realized tonight that I am stronger and better than I was before Hannah came along.  More than that, I'm working to progress farther still.  Because of Hannah.

The Lord commanded me to do something that was really hard.  I lost my baby.  But I glory that I could give her a body and a few days on earth.  She used that time to change the world.  She changed me.  She made me a person who handles a crisis.  She made me look to the light.